if you wonder why i took so long to ask u you 1 year in fact

you have been asking me why when we know each other for so long yet only , we meet up for the 1st time after 1 year....

i have not been telling you the actual reason because certain things are still better to remain unsaid to you.

but i really jus cannot hold it any more in side me, i need a channel to vent it out to sae it out, nvm i shall just say it out here as i know there will be no one be reading this , cause at this time and age who the F will still be reading blog lol hahas

i have been thinking for so long will you be the one ? do i wan to give it all out to you and for you  ?
actually i have been so scared to be giving it all out and in the end to be left back alone, and being having a one sided story is very tiring  i have been figuring out and thinking that yes why not give you a chance and try cause you might be or will be the one.


but who knows i m wrong again ... my heart have proven to be wrong and ,my brain is more rationale this round , after giving it all in , in the end you still chosen him over mi, and yes i know i sux.

it seems tat he is much more better as compared to me ? way much richer then mi , he can afford to give u so much more then wat i could afford to give u.
he seems to be able to make u happier , times u spend with him seems to be much more happier as compared to times spend with me. on your IG u seens to be posted all and every thing about him , u seems to be treating him more then jus a BF.

oh well, i think it will do you more good if u should stop disturbing u further , let you go
although letting a person go is always the hardest thing to do , but well i guess for nw letting go is far much better then holding on as it will be much more torturous to me.

i would really hope time to rewind and would be have meet you. at least the pain would nt have been so bad compared to nw...


well all i can do nw is just to wish u all the best between u and him .
i will take my leave away frm you silently and quietly without u realising.

good bye
regards.


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it has been a year since last post,

then agian every year at this moment i will really wish that you are beside me counting own to the very momement but still every year at this festive season momement time it is always the same , passing those moments alone.



where others have been recapping on what have they done , what they have achieve,
i looked bck on mine and realise i have not achieve much or rather it had still been the same as 2014 nth no changes at all.

does it mean that i have wasted the whole of 2015 away ?

i have also learned to be alone , do things alone , things are always best to be settled alone with no one else commenting, even if pple like to comment so be it i ans to my self, i fuck wat others are thinking.
i lead my life i do wat i wan i answer to my self.

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Why Why and Why

为什么，为什么, 每次我会看到我喜欢的人,当我想接近时, 总是被抢走.

为什么是不是因为我是反应慢 ???

一个接一个都是这样.

我现在已经很累很累很累了


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haiz, i just cannt seem to find a place to talk and vent all things things out thus results in  place where it will listern to mi peacafully once agian ha. . . . . . . .


i m such a failture , fail this fail that , so fucked up .
pple sae once bitten twice shy , fail one time next time will be successful will succe , but where is mine ?
fail the 1st time tried agian the 2nd time yet failed agian this time even more jalat i guess ?

have i stepped too far out have i stepped  too much over the line ?  why i m feeling all this ???
 leave class early , reaching the place liao yet have to just go away go bck dun even have the smallest dip of courage to tell and let them know .
why why  m  i like this ??? i know and pls dun blame ur self , it is nt ur fault is entirely mine cuase i do things 1st wihout even asking u thus things lke tat happen ?  and nw u angry i suspose ?

such simple courage i also dun have let alone having to protect u all and cover u all the u all are in help and in need ?  i m just so freaking uselesss fucking damn it !

why why why why ???
why wat ever i do in the end also fail ?
can som eone just enlighten mi y y y i always do ting also fail ?
or i  m just bound to fail since birth ? since the day i was here on earth ?
may be tat is the case . . .

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Ha !

been so freaking long every since i done a single blog post hahahas since i think nov ?

nw passed out from BMT in jurong camp le ! time have been gd so far ... hahas !

My dear , i nt sure if u are able to see this post anot but just gonna post this up so tat i can speak my hearts out .

you are the one that made mi go so far out , even on the countdown day, i would sae it was the day tat made my heart moved the most, ever since tat day i have nv looked back of my choice since tat day , feeling have since been getting on stronger even till today .

i know that i are nt ready or do nt wish to have any choices cause u do nt want to make any mistakes as u dun want hurt to come in to the way , i hope tat i can be the one that will be that right choice so that there will nt be any corrections or any sort.

i m willing to be here to wait till tat day comes, just hope that miracles will come ? hahas ! well i dun know when it will come but i just hope it will come =)

All that i will sae is that i will wait and be there for u when u need someone to be there . i will pray for the miracles to come one day =)

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hi guys i m bck !

hahas

from another of 1 week of intense training !

if u guys who think that Firing weapons is nv fun !

bang bang bang , shoot shoot and shoot is berri fun u think twice when u are in army !

imgine u firing 4o plus 50 round liao at the end of the day when u are cleaning ur Weapon

u will cry , having seeing all tat carbon , where u need to clean till it becomes from black to sliver or to the colour when u draw arms ...

nw i finally can understand the true meaning of soldier fighting,

when ever i see in movie i was like erm y thet need to do this and tat where i think it is

sort of nt needed

only till i completed my UO this week i finally understand the meaning behind hahas

having to understand all those meaning of covering fire clearing rooms and ETC

the importance of this tactical movement and signals to conseal ur movement and plan so ask to give ur enemy a surprise

if it is nt for my dear i also dun know how i will get through all this ! i would like to thank u my dear ! for being around via phone call and etc to keep mi going and mi motivated !

u are all tat i want and wished for !

I LOVE U dear !

i wanna hold and hug u so tight tat i will nv want to let go !!!

THANK U MY DEAR !

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YOz guys !

i know it has been long time ever since i blogged !

cause have been really damn busy with stuff and mon to friday is in camp only time left is

friday sat and sun ,

those are teh time tat are damn precious to mi as i want to spend with my dearest ! and my LOVED ones !

so far life in island is still gd everything is ok , just tat i see MO once every mth lo been there 2 mths see 2 x mo liao then recent one still tio detain in sick bay for 5 hrs due to my big swollen knees !

suspected is over excerising and staining my knees too much thus cause it to swell up!

so far is still recovering from the in jury really hope it will nt worsen as i just did my 3 k run just nw

guys who are reading this pls pray for mi yah ! hahas =D

to those buddys out there who know who my GF is pls keep to ur selfs =)

and those who dun know then ans will come sooon berri soon when then time is Right ! =)

so far I really wanna sae thank u ! dear dear ! u have been my source of motivation since then tat day 10^3

every after Lights off no matter how shag the training is or wat sO ever when i hear ur voice all pains and ach just seems to disappear instantly

really have to thank mr heaven up there for such a fated decision tat we gt together but at such a weird timing but i dun care cause at the end of the day i still loVE U!

just like the times where we are together ! no matter it is in cAr or just walking by the park , every moment spend with U , is just a moment that i will never forget and will nv be eraseD from my memory bank as there is this saying goes , feeling can change but memories will foRevEr remind there . !

there is no amount of words tat ic an show it here to thank and express mY love for U dear

just wanna

sae

I LOVE U dear dear !

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